Having this time to work on myself has made me realise so much. I lost myself for a while and to be honest I didn’t think I would be able to get back up from the dump I was in. I never thought the lose of love ones would turn my personality into someone I didn’t even know. It was a struggle that I had to deal with on my own in the end, and by having this time to work on myself I’ve come out so much stronger, so much happier, so much more confident. I probably feel more myself than I did 4 months ago. It just sucks how i’ve had to push people away that mean the world to me to actually feel this way again. But I know It was the best decision for me. I think about them everyday, wanting to talk to them just to see how they are but I know right now I need to walk alone, until I know I’m fully happy with myself before I can start thinking about anyone else. I would say my feelings for this person have weakned but then again this may be because I havent seen their vibrant blue eyes or that contagious smile of theirs in months, these feelings that I think may be leaving might all come back all at once if I see them again.
I just need to take each day as it comes :)